A couple weeks ago RO and I were chatting on the phone and I was babbling about something Tibetan, I think it was the way method that Tibetan lamas stopped the Sharmapa from reincarnating for 200 years, and he asked me a good question:
“So Jason, you are always referencing your Tibetan training, are you ever going to be a Rinpoche or what?”
The answer of course is no.
Ten years ago when I moved to Nepal, that was the plan. Learn Tibetan, do lots of retreats, eventually become a Lotsawa Lama (translator/teacher) like my mentor John Reynolds. By the time I moved back to the states, that was no longer the plan.
There were a lot of reasons for the switch, but they all boil down to 2 main realizations that I had while meditating and practicing in Nepal.
1. While I love the tibetan system or rituals and yogas, there is an integral part of my spirit that calls for me to be creative in these arenas. It is not enough just to take the medicine, I feel called to be a doctor, explorer, and inventor. I believe that magic and spirituality need to evolve over time and be relevant to the world that they operate in. Furthermore I believe that the world will keep producing new metaphors to deepen our understanding of magic*. Even if I wind up not achieving Rainbow Body, or even getting the same level of realization as I would if I stuck within the established system, I want, no I need, to be someone that pushes the envelope. besides, I believe that creativity itself is a force in magic.
2. Beyond my personal calling to creativity is my commitment to be of benefit to entient beings. Very simply I can do more good as an independent magical and spiritual teacher than I can as a Buddhist teacher. There is no shortage anymore of western Lamas and Lotsawas. Furthermore to go that route would have taken an enormous amount of money and pretty much insured a life of poverty**. On the other hand, if I took what I had learned and applied it to a new, non-buddhist specific mode of work, I could be of benefit to the people that life had already brought me into contact with – the western occult traditions.
* Things like computers are giving us the metaphors to push the envelope with how we think about magic and psychic potential. The akashic record for instance is much better interpretted and worked with today than it was 100 years ago because of these metaphors.
** In the NZK Sangha we used to have a saying: “Welcome to the Vajrayana, may we have your credit card number please…”. Seriously, the lifestyle can get expensive. most Dharma freaks – including translators and western lamas that are working within a mainstream lineage – are either trust fund/inheritance babies, or don’t have a pot to piss in. Sometimes both.
Whereas I gave up on Vajrayana simply because I couldn’t find a teacher willing to teach more than what was in books and with whom to work. For a system that values guru yoga so highly, there aren’t many actual gurus for people. Even here in the Bay Area of Northern California, there are probably three fully empowered teachers within 50 miles and only one of them speaks English!
I realized eventually that you could chase after these things forever and get nowhere or just knuckle down with what you have and forget about the Vajrayana and its shiny baubles.
Yeah, in a way I do feel a little like I looked a gift horse in the mouth because I came into it with connections that most people don’t have, but than again, even JR has his inheritance to support him – the money thing is a real issue if doing the trip all the way.
Still, I have a growing affinity for Zen, I get lots of Zen books from Shambhala, and would love to do a Zen retreat.
Jason, thanks for your nice post again!
“…Furthermore I believe that the world will keep producing new metaphors to deepen our understanding of magic…”
This is what i truly believe, what i want to devote to too!
Nice Article! You can be a Guru but you don’t need to be. As I’ve learned from another Western Adept named William Mistele from his articles… “(God) Life Itself is the Guru!” The World is already full enough of Gurus which some are Genuine and some Ego-Tripping Crackpots! They are other way of Serving which you already doing… by your blogs, books and other nifty services!
Adepts are like you are an Inspiration by Aspiring Neophytes like me.
P.S.
I’m reading Milarepa life which he is sort of role model and a hero to me. His story is powerful. Even if you’ve done dreadful things and gone thru worse situations you can still be redeemed… and enlightened!
Thanks a bunch for posting this.
I’m going into my yearly July teachings and have been thinking a lot about this as well. I pretty much have decided that I’m not going to become a Lama either and am still trying to figure out exactly how deeply I do want to be involved with Vajrayana.
However for the time being I’m still working on my Ngondro and will be for around the next year so it is somewhat of a moot point. Other than knowing I don’t plan to become a Lama I’m not precisely sure what happens once my Ngondro is completed.